The Cultural Components of a Russian New Year Experience.

The cultural components which make up a truly Russian style New Years are at least marginally universal, the difference here is the revelry and meaning those of a Russian background ascribe to New Years. Of course there is drinking, eating, more drinking and at times outbreaks of vomit and blackouts, yet this happens at any holiday party or event regardless of religion, race, ethnicity or creed. The Russian experience stands out as perhaps the most cherished of cherishable opinion. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I must say to those who do not know me that I am of somewhat connected to Russian lineage, but in no way am I representative of the whole. I know enough to make a claim that the Russian New Year experience has the most sentimental value than any other experiencable sentiments in it’s category, for instance I could confidently argue that the Russian New Year experience is more cherished and enjoyable than the Chinese New Year, American New Year, Latin American New Year and African New Year experiences combined.

The following will attempt to categorize the sentimental value of the Russian New Year Experience as the best by discussing the modified universal drinking aspects, the lack of religious affiliation, and the overall interpretation of meaningful traditions.

THE DRINKING

For a moment, let us consider the Russian stereotype of drinking. We know this to be centuries old and arguably the cornerstone of the Russian experience. According a 1999 Oxford Medicine Journal study the stereotype seems to be legitimate:

‘There is now compelling evidence that alcohol has been a major factor in recent widespread changes in mortality in Russia and in other countries of the former Soviet Union. In 1985, Mikhail Gorbachev, the newly appointed General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, instituted a large-scale anti-alcohol campaign. Within a few years, as the Soviet Union was collapsing, the campaign faltered and eventually gave way to a rapid rise in consumption, fuelled by widespread illicit production, on a massive scale. These changes were accompanied by large fluctuations in mortality.’ (McKee)

Wait, what? Those changes in consumption shows evidence of fluctuations in mortality? So, that provides evidence for the fact that Russians are willing to risk anything, including their lives, provided some sauce. In the same piece it provides a history of drinking since the tenth century (which is for those who don’t know 1,300 years ago):

‘Nearly 90% of all alcohol was in the form of spirits (vodka), a much higher figure than in other countries, and drinking typically was undertaken in binges rather than the manner of consumption in, for example, Mediterranean countries, in which wine was drunk each day with meals.’

Binge drinking Vodka is a referential characteristic of Russian culture. So here we have a people, that even in an absence of a holiday, drink heavy amounts of hard liquor. Keep in mind, this is in their nature, they were going to drink anyway. Due to Russian nature the capacity for alcoholism is staggering, in a 2009 AP report it was determined half of Russia’s post Soviet citizens died as a result of alcoholism:

‘Professor David Zaridze, head of the Russian Cancer Research Center and lead author of the study, estimated that the increase in alcohol consumption since 1987, the year when then-Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev's restrictions on alcohol sales collapsed, cost the lives of 3 million Russians who would otherwise be alive today. "This loss is similar to that of a war," Zaridze said.’

(Drinks, Anyone?)

In the same piece it presented another staggering statistic:

‘Russians currently consume almost twice the global average, the equivalent of 6.2 liters (1.64 gallons) of pure ethanol alcohol per year, the global report found. Although life expectancy here has risen slightly in recent years, Russia still has one of the lowest in Europe.’

Wow is right. So, if one assumes Russians drink like everyone else on New Years, they'd be wrong. Consider then the Russian who drinks on New Years. If an everyday American is celebrating New Years they will drink a little bit more than average, in fact, Fox News recently reported that ‘according to the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States, the $49 billion distilled-spirits industry makes more than 25% of its profits from Thanksgiving to the New Year,’ (which is of course a meaningless statistic when trying to evaluate how much actual alcohol Americans drink instead of buy, but hey, it’s Fox, what more could you expect?). If people are drinking 25% of liquor bought in America for the holiday season, one could only imagine how much the Russian will be drinking given the fact they drink way more than Americans.

A typical Russian on a Thursday.

Having said all this, it is clear the most basic of universal experiences do not match up to the amplified drinking the Russian will experience during the holiday.

ARE YOU THERE G-D? IT’S ME, SOVIET RUSSIA.

So it’s 1960 and the most interesting part of the Cold War is going on. You’ve got a G-d fearing Catholic in the White House and A Communist and Atheist Scum in... the Red House? Religion was effectively outlawed. This was communism after all, a socialist paradise according to tea party members. People did not need religion because Nietzsche said G-d died, and as such Russians could not commemorate New Years, which according to Russian Orthodox Christianity is not the day Jesus died but whatever.

There was no worship of anything. New Years was an event demarcating a metric change from one unit of time progressing to another. Very technical. It has the same meaning as celebrating every time your car hits an additional 50,000 miles.

Many Russians did have a New Years tree. Now, this is not a Christmas tree. The modern American and Western European trees are also not technically a derivative of Jesus’s birth either, rather, it is a custom and traditional from old school Europeans before the Romans came. The Tree was an idol used to worship a pagan deity of a winter solstice. So, in this aspect perhaps the tree is a religious symbol but moreover a tradition which symbolized a commitment to basic human dignity in a communist entity which largely disallowed dignity.

New Years itself is non-religious in more secular society, in Russia’s case it was super non-religious. So non-religious that even Russian Jews (who are not Russian Orthodox by affiliation of ethnicity) had trees. Its commemorative status as the one thing that did not mesh with communism was highly revered.

New Years was a state holiday in the Former Soviet Union, along with a handful of other state holiday’s. One can only describe it in nominal terms as a state holiday, but really it was a state sanctioned day off, like labor day, but you did not get a weekend, you got off early on New Years Eve and got off New Years Day then back to the factory and waiting in lines.

This sets a Russian New Years apart from other experiences. The day is purely social, an invention and implemented cultural phenomenon that everyone enjoys in Russia. In America we have too many holidays to choose from and as a result it lowers the tolerance of our holiday high. They wait for it all year.

(The Soviet on New Years Eve)

THE INTERPRETATION OF MEANINGFUL TRADITIONS

Besides the obvious drinking tradition there are several meaningful traditions which are worth discussing in terms of the Russian New Years experience being the most cherishable and enjoyable. Some interpretations of New Years on a universal plane are about fresh starts, it is about the future and about resolutions. This is accurate of the Russian experience, however, they take into account the past. How do Russians take the past into account? They get sweaty.

A trip to the banya is in order for many men and women. The banya refers to a sauna, dry, wet, hold, or cold, but always with just a towel. The men often bring vodka. It is a method to clear the body of literal toxins and clear the mind of a years worth of accumulated stress and concerns. It is a bonding experience and absolutely disgusting if someone pukes. This type of experience has more meaning than the modern American conception of New Years, whereas New Years often is a time of projections, futures and hope, Russia’s conception is often a time of reflection, evaluation and inebriation whilst doing so.

(Dramatization of a Russian Banya Experience I).

(Dramatization of a Russian Banya Experience II).

(Dramatization of a Russian Banya Experience III).

There is even an annual movie many Russian families watch before heading out to their respective parties. The movie, which is called The Irony of Fate and/or Enjoy Your Banya is a 1976 film about a guy who lives in this one city which thanks to Soviet building codes is designed precisely like other cities (which was NOT an exaggeration, many cities had the same design plan down to the apartment buildings, streets and parks). The main character leaves his apartment and his fiance to go the banya with the fellas. He ends up getting wasted, and not 2013 white girl wasted, like 1976 Russian wasted, which is way more wasted than anything anyone has ever seen. He then boards a plane to another city, while drunk, gets off to a familiar setting, goes to what he thinks is his apartment and flips out when another woman is there. Those two fall in love and the entirety of the Former Soviet Union did as well. What kind of interpreted meaning can be derived from this? Nothing, it just revives and causes older Russians to experience nostalgia and relive a time where things were simpler, when you could get drunk, drunkley fly to another copy city, meet a girl and fall in love, all of which was totally and obscurely possible.

Russians love this movie like know other. The experience of watching it with the family, pointing out things some may not have known are in and of themselves an experience worth having and is totally exclusive to Russians.

(Russians Expressing Joy About The Irony of Fate)

FINALE

The components which were mentioned briefly here, that make up the experience of a Russian New Years are clear. One who has not thoroughly experienced a Russian New Year is at a detriment because the enjoyability is greater than any other New Years Experience.

Have a happy New Year!

(Everyone on New Years Day).

Toby Keith's I (sort of don't) Love This Bar and Grill.

            Yesterday evening I had the fine pleasure of wishing my good friend a safe time off in the military. We had decided to go out in one last symbolic hurrah. The destination was “Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill.” The following will be a brief and non-professional analysis of why this place exists and what it means about our society (hopefully).

            In 2012 there seemed to be quite a bit of bashing on superficial sub-cultures, the most famous of which is certainly engaging in “hipster-bashing.” I suppose the next largest group is Country Music Fans. It is very easy to make fun of these fans, but the entire culture of “country” is very hard to take in from an outside perspective.

            Country music has its roots in folk music. One of my favorite performers, songwriters and over brilliant entertainer is John Denver, and he has a strong following. His music is grounded and has its basis in wonderful folk that poetically describes the country he loves. There is never an over the top moment with John Denver, he never puts his boot up anyone’s ass, because he’s a pacifist folk hero, not an American Country Superstar in 2013. Everyone loves John Denver because he does it for the music and his love for country is not commercial patriotism, it’s sincere and authentic love for country roads, and high Rocky Mountains. He strays away from talking about America in a political way and sticks to poetic displays (which is always more admirable). His love of country is not the same as patriotism, these concepts are easily mistaken as the same, Denver aligns himself with the nature of America, rather than the ideals of some sort of conservative base market. Folk music should not be bashed; James Taylor is another brilliant folk singer as well as folk’s heroes’: Simon and Garfunkel. Obviously their music went away form country but songs like “The Boxer” include the formulaic structure Country Music stars look for today.

            Country Music today is a lifestyle, there exists a uniform, a mindset, heck even a political agenda. Perhaps the most general of these categories of lifestyle is the accent. Here is where I am absolutely confused about Country Music Singers: how is there an accent in your singing? People are familiar with foreign singers like: Seal, Robert Plant, Shakira, The Scorpions, Robbie Williams, The Spice Girls, and oh, The Beatles do not have such identifiable accents in their songs, granted on some tracks you can hear them but it’s not an actual staple gimmick of the songs. Why is the accent just as important as the ability of the guitar player?

            This lifestyle does not end at the accent. The uniform is something that is rather peculiar. Cowboy boots, Cowboy hats, Chaps, and Spurs have actual utility in that they have a purpose, a use. The boots are for stepping in cow shit, and to walk in mud mixed with shit when you heard cattle, or otherwise anything dealing with being a COWBOY. The hat is to protect you from the sun, it has actual utility, however, there is no sun inside Toby Keith’s bar. Chaps are for protecting your legs from angry bulls and any other injuries that can occur to the lower limbs while dealing with all types of cattle. The spurs, obviously, are for stabbing a horse in the side region so it will listen to you. All these aspects have proper utilities that seem out of place in Rosemont’s Toby Keith bar. The uniform is akin to wearing sunglasses at night; people who do that are either blind or want people to think their expensive glasses are cool. If it’s the latter then you know that the intent is rather insincere and superficial which is so tacky.

            Perhaps the greatest tackiness that exists is the modern day political agenda that is attached to commercial country music. Now clearly such a conservative base would make me uncomfortable, but it has nothing to do with the fact that the people are conservative, it has everything to do with the musicians actively purporting an agenda by way of music. There is a clear opposing standard, many hip-hop musicians, and rock musicians, and pretty much anything not country is rather liberal, and when Jay-Z and Katy Perry have a concert for Barack Obama this is also really troubling. I didn't happen to be in another type of “liberal club” though; this was Toby Keith’s bar. Toby Keith’s music revolves around divisive nationalism that believes there’s only one American way: Boots in Asses. Toby Keith’s bar is located less than 15 miles away from the murder capital of the country, where bullets go in heads and it’s the Chicago way. He has not considered the validity of any opposing modality of thought, anything not up to Toby’s standards isn't American, so he’ll quickly place a boot in your ass and you’ll find out.

            Many of Toby’s songs are highly “patriotic.” He does do a lot for the military, this is highly commendable. He runs charities for them, he plays shows for them, he makes the military feel loved (even though they universally are). In my personal opinion, this is a fine way to sustain a large and multi-generational fan base, ensuring that his fans in the military buy his music, go to his bar, and vote the way he wants them too. Yeah, I know, conspiracy theory alert, but really, I am sure there were many servicemen at this bar I was at, in fact, I was with a serviceman. He loved Toby Keith, all the other white people and one black person loved Toby Keith, and I was like the poor philosopher who found the way out of the cave (maybe lucky).

            This particular bar is outrageously large. There are two floors, several restaurant sections, a very large stage, and a massive guitar shaped bar. American symbolism is generously sprinkled everywhere, and you’d never forget it. The beer is served in mason jars, because in America, we fancy boots in our bums and beer in our storage devices. Despite the tackiness of the jar, it cost $12 for a blue moon. Now, I understand such a place would have beer that costs a little higher, $7, maybe $8 I would understand, but $12? Maybe I’m just Jewish, or maybe I’m just a really price conscious American, capitalism baby!

            Perhaps the finely interesting thing is that there was cover we had to pay. Granted it was cheap, $5, I felt like a child. I was going to a bar; a country bar in a highly developed suburb of Chicago, the fact that I had to pay to get is a reminder: it’s the American way.

          

            I want to wish my friend a safe time on duty, perhaps you’ll be careful on the missions involving putting boots up combatants asses, but you can use that tag line, courtesy of the red, white and blue (even though France, the UK, Russia and perhaps tens of other countries are red, blue and white, but they don’t wear the proper boots).