Yesterday evening I had the fine
pleasure of wishing my good friend a safe time off in the military. We had decided
to go out in one last symbolic hurrah. The destination was “Toby Keith’s I Love
This Bar and Grill.” The following will be a brief and non-professional
analysis of why this place exists and what it means about our society
(hopefully).
In 2012 there seemed to be quite a
bit of bashing on superficial sub-cultures, the most famous of which is
certainly engaging in “hipster-bashing.” I suppose the next largest group is
Country Music Fans. It is very easy to make fun of these fans, but the entire
culture of “country” is very hard to take in from an outside perspective.
Country music has its roots in folk
music. One of my favorite performers, songwriters and over brilliant
entertainer is John Denver, and he has a strong following. His music is
grounded and has its basis in wonderful folk that poetically describes the
country he loves. There is never an over the top moment with John Denver, he
never puts his boot up anyone’s ass, because he’s a pacifist folk hero, not an American
Country Superstar in 2013. Everyone loves John Denver because he does it for
the music and his love for country is not commercial patriotism, it’s sincere
and authentic love for country roads, and high Rocky Mountains. He strays away
from talking about America in a political way and sticks to poetic displays
(which is always more admirable). His love of country is not the same as
patriotism, these concepts are easily mistaken as the same, Denver aligns
himself with the nature of America, rather than the ideals of some sort of conservative
base market. Folk music should not be bashed; James Taylor is another brilliant
folk singer as well as folk’s heroes’: Simon and Garfunkel. Obviously their
music went away form country but songs like “The Boxer” include the formulaic
structure Country Music stars look for today.
Country Music today is a lifestyle,
there exists a uniform, a mindset, heck even a political agenda. Perhaps the
most general of these categories of lifestyle is the accent. Here is where I am
absolutely confused about Country Music Singers: how is there an accent in your
singing? People are familiar with foreign singers like: Seal, Robert Plant,
Shakira, The Scorpions, Robbie Williams, The Spice Girls, and oh, The Beatles
do not have such identifiable accents in their songs, granted on some tracks
you can hear them but it’s not an actual staple gimmick of the songs. Why is
the accent just as important as the ability of the guitar player?
This lifestyle does not end at the
accent. The uniform is something that is rather peculiar. Cowboy boots, Cowboy hats,
Chaps, and Spurs have actual utility in that they have a purpose, a use. The
boots are for stepping in cow shit, and to walk in mud mixed with shit when you
heard cattle, or otherwise anything dealing with being a COWBOY. The hat is to
protect you from the sun, it has actual utility, however, there is no sun inside
Toby Keith’s bar. Chaps are for protecting your legs from angry bulls and any
other injuries that can occur to the lower limbs while dealing with all types
of cattle. The spurs, obviously, are for stabbing a horse in the side region so
it will listen to you. All these aspects have proper utilities that seem out of
place in Rosemont’s Toby Keith bar. The uniform is akin to wearing sunglasses
at night; people who do that are either blind or want people to think their
expensive glasses are cool. If it’s the latter then you know that the intent is
rather insincere and superficial which is so tacky.
Perhaps the greatest tackiness that
exists is the modern day political agenda that is attached to commercial
country music. Now clearly such a conservative base would make me
uncomfortable, but it has nothing to do with the fact that the people are
conservative, it has everything to do with the musicians actively purporting an
agenda by way of music. There is a clear opposing standard, many hip-hop
musicians, and rock musicians, and pretty much anything not country is rather
liberal, and when Jay-Z and Katy Perry have a concert for Barack Obama this is
also really troubling. I didn't happen to be in another type of “liberal club” though;
this was Toby Keith’s bar. Toby Keith’s music revolves around divisive
nationalism that believes there’s only one American way: Boots in Asses. Toby Keith’s
bar is located less than 15 miles away from the murder capital of the country,
where bullets go in heads and it’s the Chicago way. He has not considered the
validity of any opposing modality of thought, anything not up to Toby’s
standards isn't American, so he’ll quickly place a boot in your ass and you’ll
find out.
Many of Toby’s songs are highly “patriotic.”
He does do a lot for the military, this is highly commendable. He runs charities
for them, he plays shows for them, he makes the military feel loved (even
though they universally are). In my personal opinion, this is a fine way to
sustain a large and multi-generational fan base, ensuring that his fans in the
military buy his music, go to his bar, and vote the way he wants them too.
Yeah, I know, conspiracy theory alert, but really, I am sure there were many
servicemen at this bar I was at, in fact, I was with a serviceman. He loved
Toby Keith, all the other white people and one black person loved Toby Keith,
and I was like the poor philosopher who found the way out of the cave (maybe
lucky).
This particular bar is outrageously large.
There are two floors, several restaurant sections, a very large stage, and a
massive guitar shaped bar. American symbolism is generously sprinkled
everywhere, and you’d never forget it. The beer is served in mason jars,
because in America, we fancy boots in our bums and beer in our storage devices.
Despite the tackiness of the jar, it cost $12 for a blue moon. Now, I
understand such a place would have beer that costs a little higher, $7, maybe
$8 I would understand, but $12? Maybe I’m just Jewish, or maybe I’m just a
really price conscious American, capitalism baby!
Perhaps the finely interesting thing
is that there was cover we had to pay. Granted it was cheap, $5, I felt like a
child. I was going to a bar; a country bar in a highly developed suburb of Chicago,
the fact that I had to pay to get is a reminder: it’s the American way.
I want to wish my friend a safe time
on duty, perhaps you’ll be careful on the missions involving putting boots up
combatants asses, but you can use that tag line, courtesy of the red, white and
blue (even though France, the UK, Russia and perhaps tens of other countries
are red, blue and white, but they don’t wear the proper boots).
